Relationsucks Guide to Online Dating: Creating a Profile

So you’re single, have lots to offer and no one to offer it to? We can help! There’s plenty of ways to meet that special someone… The key is knowing what you want and FINDING IT! For most, the latter is the hardest part of being single. It’s hard enough meeting cool people… Let alone cool people who are single AND looking.

As with everything in 2008, the solution seems to appear on the internet. Now, there are surely pitfalls, there’s no doubt about that. But if you know what you are doing, online dating can be the great equalizer for nearly everyone. It’s not a cure-all pill… There’s no magic formula… But with some common sense and a dash of RELATIONSUCKS philosophy, online dating can be a great source to find love.

Okay… So I know I’ve already lost some of you… While it’s becoming less and less prevalent as the internet become more and more part of our daily lives, there still is a bit of a stigma regarding “internet relationships”. The first step of successfully dating online?: You must accept and embrace a new way of looking at dating and relationships.

The key to dating successfully, in my humble opinion of course, is to carefully examine yourself, figure out what you like and what makes you happy, and then, and ONLY THEN, find someone that meets those expectations. I have plenty of guides and advice that helps you accomplish this, but it’s vitally important that you know who you are and what you want when you’re dating online.

Most people fail at online dating because they have no idea what they are looking for, making it impossible to find it. They end up writing a generic, ill conceived profile, throwing up a couple random pictures, and expect the man or women of their dreams to somehow show up in their email on bended knee.

Needless to say, it doesn’t work that way. For most people, dating sites are one huge “hot or not” website with the ability to “spit your game” for $14.95 per month. But this can be easily overcome with a few simple tips and ideas.

1. Don’t sell yourself. You are not a used car, nor an expensive piece of furniture. This is the biggest mistake people make and most don’t even realize it. Don’t spend a couple paragraphs telling how cool you are, how many times a week you go work out, how many degrees you have, or even how often you volunteer at the homeless shelter. I would contend not to start any sentence with “I am…” or “My friends say I’m…” Make your profile a SNAPSHOT of you rather than a CAPTION!
2. Don’t be clique. I know traveling the world, taking horse drawn carriage rides, and walking hand and hand watching the sunrise on exotic beaches sounds like a pretty amazing time, but we don’t live in Hollywood (well, most of us at least). Try to show off yourself as you are on a day to day basis, as that’s the most important part of dating. I can ASSURE you that if someone is dating you AND is RIGHT for you, they’ll figure out ways to impress you and what you like (and if not, why are you dating them, stupid?) That’s not information they need to know BEFORE they meet you. Remember, a profile is a SNAPSHOT!
3. Use Great Photos! Now don’t get me wrong… This doesn’t mean use those pictures from before you put on those 25 lbs. And that doesn’t mean crop out you “bad body part here” so that no one sees your perceived weaknesses. You should strive to find pictures that will show off your good qualities, but at the same time, give everyone an idea of what they will see on the first meeting. Make a great first impression… That’s key… But remember, that if things are going to progress, they will be seeing you in person, where you can’t be cropped or retouched!
4. Be Positive and Upbeat. While it’s bad to sell yourself, underselling is even more of a pitfall in the online profile. If you can’t be positive and upbeat, you shouldn’t be on a dating site, rather on other parts of this blog learning how to become a happy, successful person. If you truly know what you want and really believe you deserve it, it will make a much more refreshing and approachable profile.
5. Don’t Dwell or Accuse. In the same vain, it’s VITAL that you don’t allow past relationships and/or experience affect your profile. NEVER put something like “Cheaters suck… been there done that…” or “Players need not apply” or “If you’re just looking for one thing, move on”. This only makes you seem bitter and gives the impression you have unresolved issues. No one classifies themselves as these things anyway, so saying them isn’t going to accomplish anything but creating a negative first impression of yourself.

Okay… So we have a start… The next installment will work to fine tune your profile and give tips and ideas on how to search and find a true match online. But first, it’s time to get started working on your profile. In true RELATIONSUCKS form, we highly recommend testing and practicing online dating. There are numerous places to get a free profile which will allow you get the ball rolling on your internet dating. I HIGHLY recommend joining a couple sites and get comfortable with how dating sites work and learn which sites work best for you. Create a couple profiles, send a couple emails, and start learning what works on your own. And be sure to check back this week for more tips and to see if you’re doing things right

Our favorite free trials (no credit card needed for any of these sites):

SINGLESNET.COM
– One of the largest and best run dating sites online. Get a free trial that will allow you to contact members and use all the functions totally free and without a credit card. A perfect place to start practicing online dating!

AMERICANSINGLES.COM - American Singles offers one of the easiest registrations and a great free trial without needing a credit card. I get 3-4 emails a day from qualified candidates and I’m not even that cute haha

MATE1.COM - One of the most active adult dating sites on the web. With risque pictures and an open look at dating, this is one of the best places for like-minded adults to meet.

Good luck! And be sure to let us know if you’d like us to critique your profile! We’d be happy to! Just shoot me an email!