Sap comes from trees and today comes from me

So honestly, I am not sure what is wrong with me, though I have a sneaking suspicion it has something to do with what they call “The Quarter Life Crisis (TQLC)”. Now if you have never heard about the TQLC here’s my take:

I am still young enough to date 18 year olds… Yet their father will likely bring a shotgun to the door each and every date.

I can still fit in the bar scene… can still get in on “college id night”… and still have lots of friends that party pretty much every night of the week… Yet this behavior will likely get me fired because a 3 AM bedtime and 6:30 wake time don’t really mesh…

I make enough money to go the places I want and do things that I’ve always wanted to do… But all my friends are working, getting married, or watching kids… So I have to do these things by myself.

I hate all my friends in serious relationships and claim “they are way too young… and so stupid”, yet 92% of my life is consumed by thinking about girls and longing for a committed relationship.

Basically, I am at the age that no one makes movies about… no one really cares about… “Nobody likes you when you’re 23″… and that’s the damn truth.

Well, maybe people like me… Actually, I am quite sure they do… They just don’t know what to do with me… Mostly because I don’t know what to do with me… It’s like, I can’t decide if I wanna be a fun crazy bachelor who goes out with a different girl every night or a dood who stays in on a Friday night, makes dinner, and watch “elimidate” re-runs with that special someone. Both of those things seem pretty fun… which, I am quite sure, doesn’t make a damn bit of sense. Yet in the past few months I have done both those things and enjoyed each immensely…

And honestly, this paradox is causing me much psychological trauma. For the first time in my life, I am noticeably moody… I change my mind about fundamental things on a daily basis. I can’t even decide if I want to wear boxers, briefs, or free-ball it… I mean, honestly… I am a mess.

And now it is showing up in other parts of my life… In really odd ways. Just today I got teary eyed while watching “The Breakup”… A freakin COMEDY! Vince Vaughn almost made me cry… I haven’t cried in the movie theatre since “All Dogs Go To Heaven”… yet there I was… A little misty because Vince Vaughn was breaking up with my future ex-wife, Jennifer Aniston… That cannot be a good sign.

But I am going to blame that on TQLC… And hope that passes pretty quickly… Because if not, I can only image what will be next… Hell, if I keep going down this path I am going to start adopting grey hounds and nursing baby bunnies back to health with my own bare hands… And if you know anything about my “love” of animals, you will know, at that point, I need to be “put down”… Cause I have officially lost it… And will become a danger to myself and others. Just call me Old Yeller… and yes… thinking about Old Yeller is making me a little emotional… I need to go get a Kleenex…